I write not because I think. I wrote not because I know. I write because writing pleasures me. But this very business is very big trouble to me, I shall confess. It reveals a whole lot about me than you might think. I write because I'm bored.
I observe that we all have one common thing in life. Inescapably, it is boredom. Every man is born feeble and stands boredom all throughout life. It is our flirtation with the world that lets us surmount this feeling for some time. We go out, spend time in nature, dissolve in family affairs. But at the end of the day, we all hit our bed feeling nothing significant. The intellectual man is at depression, because he knows this fact. The realness of life is merely an illusion to him. Every moment that is strongly felt at present is doomed to abandonment.
There is that man, who lives for the present. He is one type. What has he achieved, I ask you? Does he even live? Or exist? This life style, is clearly the worst of all. It is the most troubling, for the more at boredom man is, the more out of his mind he is. Expect anything from such a man, for the present is his priority. Future is not present in his conscience. It is for this reason that many friendships fall apart. We live under the delusion of momentary closeness. What appears to us as genuine and intimate relation is merely a selfish choice of the other person. Your presence in the present acts a source of happiness to your 'friend'. But very foolish it is of us to stretch this interaction into a long term one. The future is out of the interest of the man who cares not about the future. He has no plans for it, no aspirations, he is an animal of the present.
Then there are others, who are a little wiser to recognize the future. The future by its nature is the same as presence. However, it differs in the way we perceive it. The future is some probability that we do not experience in the ‘now’. Yet, the mere possibility of any desire realizing itself in a future time makes us a slave to it. These, these are people who live for the future. They forsake the ‘now’ for the future. In this mindset, the ‘future’ is the present. These people exist in the present in pursuit of the future. Of course, this mode is a healthier one than the previous. This man has some idea how a life should be lived. He is neat in his planning, for every action impacts the future. This man is surely more reliable. But the problem remains. A time will come, when the future will cease. ‘What now?’ he will say. Can he not afford to construct a new future; he is at waste. He comes to realize boredom. The very source of all his desires that lived all along with him. But he realizes it at the peak of the future, where future ends and the present begins.
Of course, there also exists the wisest man. His life is the equilibrium of both the present and the future and the past. This man is flexible at life. He has come to realize boredom before delving into the game. He knows that future has an end, the present is constantly vanishing and that the past is already forgotten. He sets his expectations real. He is the least excited of all. There is no absolute feeling in life. This man knows that whatever he invests in life is doomed to rot away one day, just as his body will. He knows that no king took his throne with him, unto the soil. He also knows that his achievements are the opium of his life. This man, although wise, is the unhappiest. He isn't sad either. He is at equilibrium. He feels the least because he is real. But very, very few of us are like this. Such a state of mind requires an inhumane level of realism. But we, at least I can not be that way. I know I will need an opium to carry on with life, and no, I will never be as real as the wisest man.
See you soon.